Monday, 25 August 2008

Super heroes, heart problems and Paris Hilton

I do hope that the spammers move on from Paris Hilton as I need a bit of variety in my life. And simply "Paris Hilton does x" or "Paris Hilton and y sex tape" is not going to make a particularly interesting blog. For one thing, constantly having one name in the subjects is going to make blocking the things very easy.

Before I get on to the new Hilton ones, it seems that speculation on the sexuality of superheroes is a new technique that spammers have moved on to after I spotted (not in the title, but in the body)
Robocop is a gay. Unfortunately. I feel that's completely unnecessary! Not only because of the issues regarding "outing" people (has Robocop ever said anything about his private life?), there's nothing unfortunate about it! If it's true (it's not my place the speculate either way), then the writer of that spam should be ashamed of themselves. Have the past forty years just passed you by?

Moving to Britney Spears, I received the frankly bizarre
Britney Spears Denies Having Seminal Moments with Her Angina. Do enough people really expect Britney Spears' heart problems to be that revolutionary to warrant a denial?

Something that probably would be cause for denial (perhaps even a lawsuit), if the man in question were to find out words were being attributed to him is something that came to me with the rather generic title "Weekly Top News" from a "Top News Agency". It declared:

Bid Laden support for Gay Marriage

A new video of the al-Quaeda chief was posted on the internet today in which he called for praise and understanding of "our brethren who share the same bed".
A definite development, particularly from the Robocop message. If only it were true.

Finally for the moment, following on from her endorsement of Ron Paul yesterday it appears that she thinks he's still standing and is announcing her interest in being his Secretary of Defense with
Paris Hilton To Invade Rwanda.

Sunday, 24 August 2008


It's probably not a good thing, but my spam folder seems to be getting filled with far more interesting things than my main inbox. My inbox contains things like someone asking me to send them £1,400 as a deposit and a month's rent. It contains things reminding me about job applications for perfect jobs that I've half filled in but given up on because I have no hope of getting them. It contains announcements for gigs that I'd love to go to but I haven't got a hope of being able to afford them.

However my spambox contains items of brilliance. Gone are they days of "V1AGRA, NO PRESCR1PT10N!!!11oneeleven!!1!!1!", penis pills and Nigerian princes wanting to give you $7m. Now they seem to be all about the antics of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Some are self explanatory, like Paris Hilton nude on the beech and Britney Spears sex tape and some are just plain bizarre, which is what I plan to document here.

Often they try to mix sex with topicality, as with Paris Hilton denies screwing Ron Paul and Paris Hilton: The Day I Found Out Gary Glitter Is My Dad and things that would have been topical (yet still odd) had they been sent a year ago like Paris Hilton has wrong size electronic tag.

However, my favourite for the moment (and I'm worried I won't ever be able to top this), coming to a cinema near you soon (maybe):

Hilton auditions for Nazi Orgymaster: The Max Mosley Story biopic